How To Jumpstart The Conversation About Senior Living
Talk To Your Parents About A Positive Plan For The Future
Why can conversations about getting older, plans for the future, needing help and where to live feel so hard to start with a parent or loved one? These discussions are often emotional for everyone involved, but they don’t have to feel uncomfortable or overwhelming. With the right approach, direct and meaningful conversations can open lines of communication and start a discussion about the future.
The following tips can help:
- Make a list of concerns you have for your parent or family member. You may be worried about their physical safety at home or their medication management. Write down everything that worries you. Resist the temptation to create a plan on your own. Instead, be prepared to guide the conversation with questions that let them express their intentions, thoughts and concerns.
- Find a good time to talk and tell them your concerns beforehand. They won’t feel blindsided by the conversation, and it allows them to start to think about the kind of help they want or need. Inform siblings and any family members about your plans to have a conversation with your loved ones, even if they’re not able to join.
- Learn about your senior living options. Take time to explore the different living and care options available. From independent living and in-home support to assisted living and continuing care communities, each offers varying levels of services and support. It’s important to be realistic about the support your loved one needs and to consider what may be helpful in the future.
- Sit down to talk in person at a time when you are both well-rested and can speak without interruption. You may choose to go to a neutral site or involve an outside person close to the family, such as a friend, attorney, physician or minister.
- Ask questions and choose words that are clear, supportive, non-confrontational and relay your concerns for your parent or loved one. Be respectful, empathetic and remember to use open body language, avoid crossed arms or hunched shoulders. Let them know you care about their ideas for their future. Use direct language such as:
“If you decide you would like to move, where do you see yourself living?” “What things do you need help with around the house?” “How has it been for you living at home?” “Have you considered whether you’d like to be around other people your age?” - Listen closely to their answers and let them know you are their partner. Make sure you hear their complete answer before offering your advice or opinion. If the conversation gets heated or overly emotional, take a break and pick it up later.
- Talk again. And again. As much as you’d like to wrap things up in one conversation, it’s most likely going to involve multiple discussions. Unless you have a safety risk or an emergent health issue to address at home, it’s okay to take the time needed to develop a plan you both agree on.
Learn The Next Steps To Take
Having this conversation may feel challenging at first, but it’s often helpful to begin sooner rather than later. Taking time to understand your parents’ hopes and preferences for the years ahead can make life’s transitions smoother and more comfortable for everyone involved. Contact us if you have additional questions or would like more information about Hamlet at Chagrin Falls.
